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Being LGBT in a Hetero Relationship

Updated: Mar 24, 2020

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on

This is the most public forum that I have talked about my sexuality but it’s been a topic of conversation I’ve been sitting on for a long time (blog-wise). Here are a string of words I never thought I’d say in this order… but I was actually inspired to write this after reading a post about Miley Cyrus opening up about what it was like being in a heterosexual marriage while being queer.

My sexuality has always been somewhat fluid. I never really put a label on to it and I never really wanted to. By keeping it shroud in mystery I didn’t have to confront anything or anyone asking questions. It is only very recently that I think I’ve found a word for who I am, and that word is Pan-sexual.

I’ve never seen gender as a barrier to love or attraction, male or female and anyone in-between that scale. The best way I’ve heard it be described is that my attraction and love is not limited to gender. I’ve always felt this way, but this post is by far the most liberating thing I have done.

But I just so happened to fall in love in a heterosexual relationship which has left me feeling a little like an outsider in my own community. Why does it matter to me that I’m perceived as an ally and not a member? I’m not sure. I wouldn’t change my relationship for the world, I honestly didn’t think it was possible to feel this in love everyday but I do. It’s never once wavered and I think it never will.

But I want my brothers and sisters in LGBT+ to know that I know their struggle and I see them. I always will. Please reach out if you need help, the LGBT is an amazing and welcoming community. free from judgement but still a community that needs more support.

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